Waiting…

We are waiting for August 30th.

On that day our lives could change forever…or not at all.

On that day a judge will decide if 2 children we have met, and are beginning to love, will in fact be free to be adopted.

Have I mentioned that I don’t do well with a lack of control?! This is the ultimate in lack of control. There is absolutely nothing I can do except wait.

I try to plan, because I am a planner by  nature. But it is like planning for parallel universes; in one universe we have 4 kids come September, in the second we don’t and life continues as “normal.” It seems crazy to be planning for two completely different scenarios so I stop. It has taken this series of events to get me to a place where I am okay taking life just one day at a time. Or mostly okay, it still doesn’t come naturally to me.

My mantra continues: “God, you are sovereign AND you are good. Help my unbelief!”

Every night I pray for these two children. I don’t know what the future holds for them, or for me. But I continue to believe and trust and find rest in the fact that God knew about them before He created the world. He loves all of us fiercely. He has got this under control.

 

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