This is how I know the Holy Spirit is working in me – Instead of obsessing this week over what will happen in court I have been (mostly) able to focus and take each moment for what it is. I have been able to be present with my 2 boys, doing school work, playing games, getting chores done. I am even (mostly) able to speak lovingly and respectfully. I know that all this is a result of the prayers of my friends and family and the work of the Holy Spirit in my heart. Every time I feel panic or despair rise I try to say out loud, “God, you are sovereign and you are good. Help my unbelief.” Sounds cheesy, but something about the spoken word chases away the doubt.
Obviously, the kids are in the back of my mind. The parallel universes continue and pop up at the strangest of times, like planning my grocery list or while I sit beside the soccer practice field. Aaron and I had a brief conversation last night about what the next few weeks might look like if in fact this all goes through and the kids are placed with us this month. It felt good to know that we are on the same page, again, visible reminders of the Holy Spirit at work.
On Monday one of the verses in my Bible reading was:
“When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.”
I feel to thankful to see this being absolutely true in my life this week.