We had a whirlwind week and weekend last week. It was pretty easy to keep my mind distracted and not really think about this upcoming staffing much. Yesterday Aaron and I needed to sit down and at least talk through a few things so we were on the same page before being in a room full of DFCS workers. I started doing some research on toddler transition, attachment, and bonding.
We have quite a road ahead of us.
If this happens, and if we want to do it right (which of course we do), the transition is going to have to be slow, yet intense. What I mean by that is that the recommended guidelines are to have lots of visits, close together, increasing in time, over a period of a few weeks until the toddler feels comfortable and attached to the new home. Obviously we have yet to see if this is what our particular DFCS worker will recommend, but we will fight pretty hard to make sure that we do this as close to “recommended” as possible. This is going to mean a lot of back and forth for us. Extra driving. Pushing back some things on our schedule.
But we really have no idea. I have scoped out the “ideal” in my mind. But who knows what will actually transpire.
Then I started thinking of all this little guy has been through in his short life. How many attachment figures he has had. The things he has seen. And fear and doubt began creeping in. I started imagining all the worst case scenarios.
I think that we are still proceeding in a healthy way. It is necessary for us to do some planning and thinking ahead in the event that this meeting on Thursday goes well and we get the green light. Yet, the thinking and planning ahead have not consumed me the way they did with the other placement. Maybe the fact that I still don’t have a face in mind (we haven’t seen a picture yet). Most definitely the fact that we haven’t met him yet helps me plan without feeling significantly attached.
After the chaos of our busy week last week our house is a complete wreck. So today I am putting my energy into cleaning and getting our environment in order. No matter what happens we can all benefit from a clean, organized, welcoming home.
But I will admit. I am getting a little bit nervous. Any maybe even a tad bit cautiously excited.