It’s Holy Week and my heart is tender. I want the daily routine of life to stop so that I can ponder and pray. The history of the world changed in this week. Jesus walked willingly to the cross and the curtain between God and man was torn in two forever. In this week death and sin were smashed to pieces and all things were begun to be made new again. Doesn’t this warrant a few minutes of quiet? How can I not spend this week on my knees?
Yet this morning I scratched out the week on a scrap of paper and every day has something extra that has to be done. Every day has something besides the regular home schooling, meal planning, laundry, house cleaning.
I am experiencing Lent in a new way this year. I feel more still. My heart has been quiet and calmed and I search amongst the daily lists and messes for grace. In fact I am seeing that grace is more true and real in the midst of the daily lists and messes. I am slowly losing the need to perform. Last week was messy as I fought a sinus infection and tried to implement consistent discipline. There was struggle against pride. Struggle against sin. Struggle against selfishness.
That of course is exactly why Holy Week matters. The struggle against sin continues, but at that moment in time the battle was won! On a day when I have spoken impatiently, my words have cut deep, my selfishness has hurt others I know that the price has been paid and I do not have to continue in guilt and shame. This week I pause in the midst of the daily struggle and marvel at the sacrifice. Jesus suffered for me. Because he loves me. Grace.