New

Here is what I love about Easter – the promise that all things will be made new.

There are things in this world that are horrifically broken and messed up. Sin hurts. It overwhelms me sometimes to think of all the sadness, injustice, pain, grief.

There are things in me that are horrifically broken and messed up. My sin hurts others. It overwhelms me sometimes to think of how my selfishness, impatience, anger, laziness, and impatience hurt my husband, kids, friends.

On Easter morning I can barely speak for the tears in my eyes and the hope in my heart. The resurrection of Jesus is the promise that death is not the end of the story, all things will be made new.

As our Easter Sunday full of worship and friends and fun wound to a close we loaded up in our van in search of a hike.

The new green on the trees shimmered around us.

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Wild flowers bloomed  beautiful even with no one to see.

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We stretched our legs and filled our lungs. Boys put bare feet in a cold running creek.

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I sat and watched the sun filter through the leaves and thought of Mary beside the tomb that first Easter morning. I always wished that I could have been with her. What a wonder to hear Jesus speak your name. What joy she must have felt at being known, and knowing that he was alive!

That is of course the promise of the resurrection. One day I will stand before Jesus and he will tenderly speak my name. And all will be made new…

Finding the light

Some weeks light is everywhere. Some weeks it is easy to be loving and patient and kind. Some weeks it is easy to believe I am loved.

Some weeks the light is illusive. Not because it isn’t there, but because clouds cover and I allow myself to be blinded to it.

Last week there were gifts to be counted but I allowed fatigue and worry to distract me. At the end of the week my husband lovingly, but firmly, asked me, “Who do you think is in control of your life?” That is the heart of the matter. When I start to get frustrated and impatient that is my first clue that I have an idol that I am looking to (usually the idol of control) instead of to Jesus. So, I cried a little bit, admitted that I was functioning out of control and fear. Then I took my camera and spent some time in the back yard. The flowers in the back yard come and go so quickly and I had already missed the opportunity to really enjoy the lacy weeping cherry tree and the brilliant daffodils.

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I was breathing in the fresh air and sunshine when I noticed two small “weeds” at the base of a tree. They were nestled in the grass but so bright that they caught my eye. As I knelt down to get a closer view clouds covered the sun and threw the yard into shade. I was disappointed by the sudden lack of light and warmth and decided it was time to head back inside. Then I saw it, the small spotlight of sunlight.