Some weeks light is everywhere. Some weeks it is easy to be loving and patient and kind. Some weeks it is easy to believe I am loved.
Some weeks the light is illusive. Not because it isn’t there, but because clouds cover and I allow myself to be blinded to it.
Last week there were gifts to be counted but I allowed fatigue and worry to distract me. At the end of the week my husband lovingly, but firmly, asked me, “Who do you think is in control of your life?” That is the heart of the matter. When I start to get frustrated and impatient that is my first clue that I have an idol that I am looking to (usually the idol of control) instead of to Jesus. So, I cried a little bit, admitted that I was functioning out of control and fear. Then I took my camera and spent some time in the back yard. The flowers in the back yard come and go so quickly and I had already missed the opportunity to really enjoy the lacy weeping cherry tree and the brilliant daffodils.
I was breathing in the fresh air and sunshine when I noticed two small “weeds” at the base of a tree. They were nestled in the grass but so bright that they caught my eye. As I knelt down to get a closer view clouds covered the sun and threw the yard into shade. I was disappointed by the sudden lack of light and warmth and decided it was time to head back inside. Then I saw it, the small spotlight of sunlight.