Lent continues. I am learning to let go of the idea that I will do anything perfectly or completely, but most mornings find me lingering over the prayer cards available from Ann Voskamp’s website. They sit in the middle of the dining room table visible and present. Thoughts and prayers flicker through my mind throughout the day. Some days I take up the suggested fast. Other days just pass as normal.
The days have been wet and grey. My spirit feels dry and grey. I go through the motions but feel no passion. I am learning that is okay. Since when did we decide that we had to constantly feel passion and fire to believe that the Spirit is working? Can God not also work in the quiet, cloudy times?
Yet this Lent is shaping me. Quietly. Subversively. I feel more of my hard edges slowly being softened not through dramatic circumstances but through daily mundane acts of surrender. I feel stirrings in the quietness of my spirit. I lean into the work and mystery of nearly constant imperfect prayer. I lean into being present with the people I am with. The longing in my heart for the coming of God’s kingdom grows in quietly increasing daily yearning not in technicolor passionate bursts.
It is a quiet time. There is much to be learned in quiet.