Day 13 of 31 Days of 5 Minutes of Free Writing.
Today’s Prompt: Patience
I struggle with patience. A lot. Specifically speaking impatiently to others. Specifically speaking impatiently to my husband and children. It is one of my biggest spiritual battles. I have such a hard time “speaking words that make souls stronger” (to quote Ann Voskamp). I want to be a calm, collected mother who always has soft words towards her children. More often than not the words come out clipped and dismissive. I hate this about myself. I believe that the words we speak are important. I teach my children to speak respectfully and kindly but struggle to be a good example in this area.
My impatience is a sign of my idol of self. I speak impatiently and unkindly when I am interrupted, disrespected, when I am tired and worn out. It is my extreme selfishness that causes me to speak this way, when I chose myself and the momentary relief that comes from my frustrated words over the heart and soul of my husband and kids.
There is hope. I have felt my heart changing in this area. I have learned that I cannot change this behavior by sheer force of will. When I am spending time with God and aware of His love for me it is more likely that loving words, rather than impatient words, will come out.
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