Day 15 of 31 Days of 5 Minutes of Free Writing.
Today’s Prompt: Laugh
I am a pessimist by nature. I am a cynic. I guess to put a positive spin on it you could say I am a realist. In my college sociology classes when we would classify people as characters from Winnie-the-Pooh, I was an Eyore. I am not proud of this about myself.
In my early years as a mother I realized that I wasn’t feeling much joy. Every day seemed like a struggle through a fog of sleeplessness. The physical exhaustion of the demands of caring for a baby and toddler wore me out. I became so busy with survival (and counting the minutes until nap or bedtime) that I didn’t enjoy the days. In focusing on all the negative I was missing the joy of being a mother. I stumbled upon Ann Voskamp’s blog and began the challenge of keeping a list of my own 1000 Gifts. I decided that I needed to challenge myself to find joy.
It sounds trite and cliche but the simple act of being on the lookout for Gods gifts to me throughout the day brought back my joy. It changed my life. My mind naturally goes to negative thinking and I need an exercise that keeps me focusing on the positive. Counting my gifts trains my mind. Laughing still doesn’t always come naturally to me. But I am learning to see God’s daily goodness to me. As I keep my list and feel His love I find myself smiling and laughing more. My kids bring me joy and I enjoy their company. That is a huge change. I want them to remember me as a mom who laughed with them and smiled on them. I am so thankful that I see God doing that in me.
I am participating in the 31 Days Writing Challenge. Click here to see the whole series in this challenge so far.