Day 18 of 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writing
Today’s Prompt: Worth
We were watching SEC college football on Saturday night and a quote by the Georgia coach stopped me in my tracks. It was a tough game, the kicker had missed an important kick earlier in the game and he had another chance at the end of the game to make a kick and win the game for his team. Before the play the camera’s captured the coach speaking directly to his player. The player made the kick and the team won the game. The coach was asked what he said to his player to relax him before the important play. He said something along these lines, “I told him that I loved him no matter what happened in this play. These guys think their worth is tied up in their performance and I wanted him to know that his worth had nothing to do with how he performed on this play.” Wow.
I am not a football player, but I understand this mindset. I tend to tie my worth to my performance. I follow rules, I do the right thing, I try to please other people. A few years ago I felt like a big failure and questioned my worth. It was hard to feel like I was loved when I felt like I had nothing to offer, nothing to give. But God was gentle with me.
Lately my feelings of guilt and failure have been surfacing again. I have to repeat to myself again, “Nothing you do can make God love you more, nothing you do can make God love you less.”
My time is up and I am not sure how to finish this off. I found freedom and joy when I realized that I had nothing to prove to God or others. I don’t want to lose that feeling.
I am participating in the 31 Days Writing Challenge. Click here to see all posts in this series.