I am stuck. I have a lot of things on my mind and words just don’t seem to come. There are big things happening and little things happening and people who are really hurting and I know that this life is just a breath and that we are not guaranteed the next one and the world just keeps on spinning and somehow I know there is light even in the darkest of places. But I don’t know how to write about all that yet. So I am copying and pasting a post I wrote 3 years ago.:
Day 20 of 31 Days of Five Minute Free Writing
Today’s Prompt: Temporary
The picture that inspired the original post in October 2012 and my boys now.
Ya’ll. Honestly. I look at these pictures and all the cliches I have ever heard about mothering flood my thoughts. When the boys were little and the days seemed never ending, and just the act of getting a shower seemed like a major accomplishment, and women would say to me, “Enjoy these days! They are precious. They will be gone too quickly.” I would roll my eyes and sigh deep. I swore never to say that to a young mother with multiple little ones. But I did, just yesterday.
Yesterday morning my kids picked out these clothes. I was surprised because letting my kids pick out their own clothes means I never know what exactly they will end up with. There they were all tucked in and matching and so danged grown up looking. I took pictures before we headed off to church. I stood in the sanctuary talking to a young mother. She was tired. And overwhelmed. I was doing my best to speak grace and truth to her. To encourage. Her little one started smiling at me. He was plump and happy. The words just slipped out, the cliche, “Enjoy these days! They will be gone before you know it.” I felt like rolling my eyes at myself.
What I wish I had said was: “I know you don’t believe this now, but the days do pass and before you know it they are gone. Try to treasure them. In the midst of the exhaustion and frustration find those moments that will evaporate all too quickly. Because believe it or not, as much as you can’t imagine it now, there will come a day when you don’t really remember his little baby smell. Or how he curls up into you to fall asleep.Ask God to show you how to enjoy these all consuming little years, instead of just trying to survive them. They will shape you in ways you never imagined. You will feel like you are losing yourself, yet becoming your truest self at the same time. And one day you will realize that your kids have spent the whole morning playing together without needing you and you will rejoice and mourn just a little bit.”
I wish I had said that to her because I wish I had been able to do that myself.
I am participating in the 31 Days Writing Challenge. Click here to see all posts in this series.